Clare's Chaotic Cacophony

This is my little piece of cyberspace where I chronicle events in my life. Where I can vent, or dream, or wax poetic… Grab a heavily alcoholic beverage and join me, if you will.

Archive for March, 2013

Mommy Daydreams…

As I have stated once or twice before, I love cooking. I also love my crazy monkeys. But sometimes I still dream…

My tastes are simple. I wouldn’t even have to leave the house, really. I’d just like a day where I didn’t have to do anything. A day without school lessons or playing referee in the midst of testosterone fueled rage. I think I’d spend it reading, coding and watching Downton Abbey. Maybe I’d order take-out… Or take a nap! But I wouldn’t cook or do laundry or clean a damn thing. There might be a long bath involved. A cold bottle of wine would be a must.

Sure I could dream of Puerto Rico and the sound of the wind in the coconut trees… But this is a more realistic fantasy for the time being. Attainability can be attractive too. ūüėČ


…Cause Knowledge is Power!!

Sometimes I get the itch to learn something. I’ll suddenly have this deep seated need to expand my horizons. I’ll want knowledge just for the sake of having it. Sure, I learn a lot of things alongside my kiddos while helping them with their schoolwork, but that doesn’t fill the void. I’ll pick up Rosetta Stone or find a website aiming to learn a new language but inevitably it’ll fall by the wayside. (One day I’ll finish this though…being at least bilingual is on my bucket list and I’m not getting any younger.)

One day, I was reading the book Ghost in the Wires and the idea of all these programming languages piqued my interest. I decided to look into them. They all¬†recommended¬†HTML as a good one to start with. I started playing around with it one afternoon just for kicks. I was hooked. There is something so very satisfying about taking all these unintelligible lines of code and watching it turn into something almost…pretty! The counterpart to HTML, which deals with even more artistic elements, CSS is a little trickier to me. But oh the things you can do with it… My awesome husband even bought a big book to help me learn more in depth, and it’s like crack. Once I start doing those lines of code, I’m loathe to put it down. ¬†

This has me planning.

Thanks once again to my awesome DH, I am now in possession of a domain name. I will use it to practice, and eventually pimp that sucka out. I’d move my blog there… I’d open up a recipe section… There could be a health and fitness section too… I could have a corner for just about anything! This is very exciting to me.

The geekdom is growing…

As a side note, if you’re interested in a modern “Catch me if you can” kind of story, I highly¬†recommend Ghost in the Wires. It’s a pretty amazing story to say the least.


Die, fat greasy Boogeyman…just DIE!

I think we all have our internal struggles. The boogeymen in our brains, the issues that we mentally charge towards on a white steed with a conquering lance glinting in the sun of our confidence. ¬†Sometimes the lance makes contact. Then other times we may fall off of our steed landing in a crumpled and confused heap. The issues go untouched or perhaps only whittled at with no real resolution. Where did we go wrong? We started off so very strong! Why are these things so tough to conquer? Why won’t the boogeyman DIE?

I’ve watched everyone I’ve ever known struggle with the evil monkeys on their backs that they’d love to shake off. One of my boogeymen is health. Scroll through this blog and at any given point I’m sure you’ll find a post hinting at frustration over “falling off the wagon” in regards to healthy living. It’s something so simple…eat right, exercise, be healthy…and yet so many of us fail so miserably. Oh sure, I’ll start a diet on my metaphorical charging steed, but before I know it, I’m sitting on my butt in the dirt with a doughnut or two watching my steed gallop away. My beautiful horse was going to lead me to a better place! A place with more energy..a place where you could shop for cute clothes without blushing and picking the “big girl” jeans! And yet here I sit with my doughnuts watching his hooves disappear in the dust.

*huge sigh of frustration*

It’s gotten to the point where I’m hesitant to try anything new because I’m afraid that it’ll become another massive fail, like all of my other attempts. Might as well just sit here in the dirt with my doughnuts…at least it’s a stable place, right?

WRONG.

“Why do we fall, sir? So we might learn to pick ourselves up.”¬†
So I must pick myself up again.

And drop the doughnuts.

(Oh and bonus points to those who know where that quote was from.)


Life Marches On…

Okay forget that, it sprints on. It takes off like a shot, makes your head spin, and leaves you in the dust wondering “What just happened here?” My life has made me feel that way quite a bit here lately. It’s been full and busy, but you know what? That has been satisfying. Sometimes we give in to the more sedentary side of geekdom around here and this displeases me. I want us to be active, I want life to be full to bursting, I want… vitality! Sure life with five boys is very full to bursting, but that’s usually bursting with stress, breaking up fights, and wondering just how long it’ll be until I can have an alcoholic beverage in one hand. Or each hand. Depends on the day. Don’t get me wrong, it’s also full to bursting with love and a lot of fun. I don’t know what I would do without my five crazy little men. They can make me laugh like no other. Sometimes when they can sense my stress levels are rising, they come running up to me acting out my favorite silly parts from cartoons and such just to make me feel better. Last night I had the two babies asleep on top of me like a pile of puppies…and my heart was pretty full to bursting at that point.

In the same vein, life can be so very bi-polar. Yesterday was pretty horrible. Just about anything that could go wrong, went very wrong. The fighting was through the roof. The baby was exceptionally clingy. The chores loomed massively above me. Fast forward to today… school was done quickly and there has been virtually no fighting. Aidan didn’t even balk when I told him to brush his teeth! Now they’re downstairs rocking out to Nightwish while Sean dries and puts away the dishes for me. Sometimes I have to wonder why life is so bi-polar…wouldn’t it be nicer if things were a bit more evened out? But then maybe we wouldn’t appreciate the great highs without the great lows. Perhaps we need the yin with the yang. Maybe we’d be bored without it. (Yeah, see I can be all philosophical about it today…yesterday’s philosophy was “I really need to start smoking again..”)

So yeah, life’s been busy. My oldest is now an official white belt in Tae Kwon Do. He loves it and we love that he loves it so much. Three times a week he stretches, jumps, punches, and kicks his way closer to his next belt. It keeps him active, and always brings a huge smile of pride to his face. Erik is still in soccer and looks forward to his games and practices with great excitement. Soon enough it’ll be basketball season again and Aidan will be back to his B-Ballin’ ways as well. In the meantime, there’s school and chores and teething babies to attend to as usual. I also applied to join a local homeschool group for field trips, co-ops, and more socialization. I really can’t wait to jump headfirst into that as well. Vitality, I tell ya..

Perhaps too much vitality…