Clare's Chaotic Cacophony

This is my little piece of cyberspace where I chronicle events in my life. Where I can vent, or dream, or wax poetic… Grab a heavily alcoholic beverage and join me, if you will.

Archive for May, 2013

Fit Into Summer Giveaway!

Fit Into Summer Giveaway!

I am so pleased to announce that the Chaotic Cacophony is helping to host a fitness giveaway! Whatever your fitness goals, these prizes could help you achieve them! There is even a free month of the Revolt program that I’ve been reviewing and getting such great results with. Check out all of the amazing stuff you could win:

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Grand Prize Pack


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First Place

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Second Place

Thank you to all of our sponsors!!

And to all participating blogs: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Contest ends June 10th, so enter below now and best of luck to everyone! ūüėÄ

Revolt …Against the Virus

Last week did not go so very well. I was sick.¬†Not just sick of it all, sick of stress, or sick of my current nail polish, but bonafide I-think-I-had-the-flu sick. It was pretty dang awful. My kiddos were sick as well, so the week pretty much consisted of blankets, movies, and naps. My Revolt review will be a bit lame as a result, but let’s give it a shot…

The Diet:

Bowls of canned soup was the norm this week when I could eat. Before the virus really took hold, I’d pre-prepped a crock pot full of Revolt’s Coconut Curry Chicken and Basmati Rice. As I started to get better, I ate this a lot. It was delicious. Warm, filling, and full of flavor, it really was a wonderful meal. It took virtually no time at all to prepare also, which always gets a thumbs up in this busy mom’s book. I also had an amazing smoothie made from mangos, coconut water, lime juice, milled flax, and a pinch of cayenne. It was surprisingly delicious and felt great on sore throats.

The Workouts:

None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. My exercise this week seriously consisted of shivering under a blanket and attempting to walk straight while making meals for the kiddos. This virus was an evil debilitating bastard.


Yeah I probably looked a lot like this…


The Results:

Starting weight:    203.5

End of the week:  200.5

So I did lose three pounds, but this was probably due more to lack of eating and living on soup for awhile. I lost a little bit inch-wise as well, but I’ll post those next week after a full week of Revolt and actually working out. Overall, this virus put me on a diet that I would heartily¬†recommend… to no one. But I have hope for this current week! I have some amazing meals on the plan, including Banana Crepes and Burger Patties with Roasted Vegetables. Honestly, loosing weight never tasted so good. Also, I left off with half a pound left before my mini-goal of being below 200 pounds again and I know I can do it! With this plan, I am assured that it will come off and more inches will melt away. I dunno about you, but I like certainty…especially when it comes to getting fit.

There is a brand new Revolt Uprising starting the beginning of June! If anyone would like to get fit along with me, visit the Revolt Site and sign up! We could even build a team and work together! If I can do this as overweight and food addicted as I am, then anyone can. Seriously. ūüėČ


***Disclaimer: I was given my Revolt Now Fitness membership as a blogger to review for zero dinero. However, all of the words, posts, opinions and anything else that comes out of my cracked belfry are mine and mine alone.***

Revolt-ing in Week Two

This update is sadly overdue. Things have been busier than usual! Plus, my monkeys are taking turns getting sick apparently, and I’m the latest victim. I’m extremely thankful that we stocked up on lovely teas at Teavana because hot tea is going to be my friend for awhile, I think. I have lots of good stuff up on this blog’s horizon, though! I’m going to post my first Revolt recipe soon and I even have a giveaway coming up for a whole quart of beautiful virgin coconut oil! ¬†But, first thing’s first, I want to share how my personal Revolt against my before pictures is coming…


Week Two has been very good to me. I went down another two pounds! Now, I know I haven’t posted my actual weight before. To be honest, I’m¬†embarrassed¬†and scared to. However, I do believe it’s time I stopped hiding and opened up. You really have to see the numbers to understand just how powerful this program has been for me. Okay, deep breath, and here we go…

Starting Weight (Kickstart):          211 lbs

Beginning of Week One:             207 lbs

Beginning of Week Two:             205.5 lbs

Beginning of Week Three:          203.5 lbs

That is a grand total of 7.5 pounds!!

This is heavier than you think!

Gives you some perpective on how much my body has lost!

This is after or only three weeks of dieting and working out. That is HUGE for me, especially with my craptastic metabolism! My personal mini-goal of being below 200 lbs again is so close I can taste it! And the measurements are pretty amazing too! For example, I’m going to show where I started and where I am now:

Hips: ¬† 52.5″ ¬†– ¬†51.0″

Waist: 41.0″ ¬†– ¬†39.0″

Thigh: 26.5″ ¬†– ¬†25.0″

Chest: 39.0″ ¬†– ¬†38.0″

That is a grand total of 6 inches off of my body just by adding up these areas!

This is just in the areas I listed!

This is just in the areas I listed!

This all sounds awesome on paper, but what felt like a million dollars was getting dressed for Mother’s Day. I picked out a shirt that has always¬†just fit¬†around my midsection and watched in amazement as it flowed effortlessly over my hips. I was so shocked! I turned sideways in the mirror and for the first time, I really really noticed a big change. My puffy can’t-blame-it-on-baby-fat-anymore tummy looked flat! It wasn’t competing with my chest anymore! I was so thrilled I ran out and showed Jason. Then, my family noticed when we saw them later. This was the icing on the cake. I am, more than ever, ready to continue rocking this Revolt.

The Workouts:

My workouts lagged a bit because, klutz that I am, I pulled something in the front of my foot and had to be gentle with it. So I¬†wasn’t able to go as hard core as usual, but when I did, I¬†definitely¬†felt the burn! I am loving the fact that you can get these kinds of workouts in 20-30 minutes at home! No gym, no hours of running on a treadmill, no sitting on someone else’s sweaty weights machine, no scrambling to find babysitters. It’s nothing short of amazing. Oh, btw… Wall Sits = Evil. It’s a necessary evil, though. ūüėČ

The Diet:

In week two, as I mentioned before, there were Breakfast Burritos in the morning. These were so very delicious and uber filling. Lunches consisted of Roasted Chicken (we’ll just forget I ever experimented with salmon) with Wild Rice and Asparagus. This was heavenly. Dinner was a big leafy salad with chicken and veggies. To keep things interesting, I dressed it different ways each night. One night, I dressed it with buffalo wing sauce and enjoyed the spice of Hot Wings without the fat and guilt. Another night I whipped up a light Greek vinaigrette and ate the chicken breast warm on the side. I had fun with it! And that’s the beauty of this plan. You’re given a list of approved foods and many different menus to work with. If you get tired of one dinner, swap it out for another! For example, this week’s dinner is also supposed to involve a big chicken salad. I’m afraid this might get old for me, so I’m swapping it out for a different week’s dinner and making burger patties with roasted vegetables on the side. Embrace variety and make the plan work for YOU! ūüôā

If you’d like to see what all my fuss is about, check out Nichole’s program here at The Revolt Site¬†¬†If you want to start your own fitness revolution, let me know and we’ll Revolt together. ūüėČ You have nothing to lose but pounds and inches and nothing to gain but confidence and health. I am living proof.


***Disclaimer: I was given my Revolt Now Fitness membership as a blogger to review for zero dinero. However, all of the words, posts, opinions and anything else that comes out of my cracked belfry are mine and mine alone.***

The Old Lady and the Salmon

In my sons third grade reader, we read a story. It told about a little old lady who woke up one morning and found that everything went horribly wrong. After several mishaps, she decided that she must’ve gotten up on the wrong side of the bed that morning. The little old lady is so desperate to change the tone of the day that she seriously changed back into her nightdress and crawled back into bed, this time getting up on the other side. And what do you know…her day improved! This story really amused and stuck with Sean and me. We often reference it when the day is going sour.

Well, today went sour. For a morning that started so well, it ended very poorly.¬†Klutz that I am, I actually injured my foot exercising yesterday, so no workout for me today. Brendan woke up with a sore throat and was miserable. Testosterone attitudes started piling up over things like “Go clean your closet, please.” Sean even got sent to his room for copping a ‘tude and fell asleep where he’d been pouting on the floor. And then, the salmon happened. But to explain the salmon happening, I must first tell the Story of the Salmon…

This week’s meal plans has some tried and true favorites for me (like Breakfast Burritos! ūüôā Ole!) but there are some things that sadly, I’ve never tried before. Some of these are very basic foods too! One of these things is salmon. Salmon is a much beloved dish and as someone who considers herself somewhat of a foodie, it blows my mind that I haven’t tried it yet. This probably has something to do with fish not being my favoritest food in the world. ¬†When I’m pregnant, I won’t touch raw fish with a ten foot poll. The sight and smell alone is enough to make me hurl. I’ll only eat it fried and served up with Tartar Sauce. Delicious, yes. Healthy, NO. Let’s face it, fish smells…fishy.¬†But as I’m not pregnant and there’s no danger of hurling, I figured it’s time to suck it up and broil some fish.

I made a trip to the fresh fish department of the grocery store and stared at the fish for awhile. The guy behind the counter just stared at me staring at the fish, probably thinking I was a bit “off”. First I made sure that the fish I was staring at was indeed salmon, and then I grilled the poor guy about bones. I’ve watched enough Food Network to know that pinbones hide everywhere and require a giant pair of tweezer to painstakingly pull each one out. I don’t own a giant pair of tweezers, nor do I want to spend hours pulling tiny bones out of fish flesh. He assured me that filets are clean, so cringing at the price, I bought a pound. That’s a little less than I needed, but I figured I’d substitute chicken a day or two. The next day I open my neatly wrapped package and stare at the salmon. I have to admit it’s beautiful. I begin to look at this fish as a new culinary challenge! I proceed to google “how to broil salmon” on my trusty iPhone. I find directions, gather my¬†ingredients¬†and get to work. I weigh my portions, rub them with a touch of olive oil and spices and lay them tenderly on the heated broiler rack. I got this. I proudly think with a smirk.¬†It comes out of the broiler even prettier than when it went in. I even achieved the crust that the recipe talked about! I peel the skin off, put them in my lunch containers, and congratulate myself on a fish well cooked.

So all morning I salivated over my beautiful, perfectly cooked salmon. When the day started to turn into a steaming pile, I had sampling my fish in the back on my mind. By lunch time, a headache was starting to bloom from all the morning fun and games. I warmed my lunch, picked a big piece of perfectly flaky fish on my fork and took a bite….

…and hated it. I was incredulous. How could such a prized piece of meat taste so horrible to me? Why was it soooo terribly fishy? The strong fishiness was inescapable, in fact it even permeated my roasted asparagus! I tried another bite. No good. I tried a bite of the inner meat, which was even softer. Worse. By this point the happy little bubble of hope in my head burst. I couldn’t even finish my salmon.

About this time,¬†a sleepy faced Sean wandered over to me with a grin and sheepishly asked “I don’t suppose we could be like the little old lady? Start over from the right side of the bed?” And then he hugged me and apologized for his earlier outburst.

I’d love to say that the madness ended there, but it didn’t. At one point, I even put on a video for the older boys so I could take a nap with the baby simply to try out the old lady’s technique myself! I woke up hopeful that we’d started over. Then I heard the words that strike terror into every mother’s heart: “Oh eewwww, go tell Mom…you’ve got poop on your legs!”. Apparently the nap wasn’t long enough. Next thing you know, I had pizza ordered. So add “falling off the wagon” to my list of the day’s shortcomings. Luckily we didn’t have any wine around or I could’ve added “polishing off a bottle of wine” to the list as well! ūüėČ Even the neighborhood kids were in a nasty mood because my kiddos came in knowing a few words that had never graced their ears before. Luckily no one was curious about what “f–k your mother” meant so I was spared that¬†explanation.¬†Things stayed pretty crazy right until bedtime. At the moment, I’m the last one awake. The house is quiet. While catching up on ¬†messages online, it seems that a few of my friends had a rough day as well. Even Jason said his day was crazy at work. So maybe it’s that “moon is in the wrong house” explanation. But here’s hoping that bedtime brings peace and maybe tomorrow we can all wake up like the little old lady, on the right side of the bed, and everything will be right again…just like that. ūüôā


By the way, the salmon fight is not over. I’ve been given some suggestions on how to ease the “fishy” flavor and plan on trying them tomorrow. If anyone has any other tips, please leave me a comment and let me know! I’d greatly appreciate it!

First Week of the Uprising

We went out to eat this evening, just like we do every Sunday. Today we chose the wonderful Texas institution Whataburger. They make a burger with bacon and A1 sauce that will rock the socks of any good burger lover. As usual, I ate the burger and drowned every single golden fry in their amazing spicy ketchup. The ride home found me happy and satiated as it always has. But then something UNusual happened. I found myself extremely full. As time passed and my stomach settled, it became more than a little uncomfortable. Usually I can down a dinner like I did, not think twice about it, and hunt down dessert. But not this time. I grew more and more tired. Climbing the stairs felt arduous. I think my body is in…Revolt.

This was my big cheat meal after my first official week on the Revolt Fitness plan. All week I have eaten clean, fresh food that I’d prepared and pre-portioned in advance. So my Whataburger was probably a huge shock to my system. All of these changes fascinate me. It means that the Uprising is working. I’m doing something really good for my body.

So allow me to review a few key points from this first week….


Dinner, anyone?

Dinner, anyone?

I went from a small breakfast usually involving just toast and coffee to a substantial one of mini quiches, oatmeal and grapefruit. My snacks changed from munching on crackers or chips to eating nuts, fruit, or natural nut butters. Dinner for me, usually involved two portions and lots of starch. This last week, it involved big salads with meat, veggies, and toppings like homemade guacamole.¬†I am rarely hungry. I am also drinking at least a gallon of water a day. Having always been a heavy drinker (har har har), this isn’t too hard for me. Plus, I can still have my coffee, so we’re good. Lack of coffee would turn me into a vicious monster. You wouldn’t like me when I’m coffeeless… Alrighty, moving on before my skin turns green…


Showing you anyone can get fit from their living room ūüôā

This week I began the actual videos. Nichole’s enthusiasm is real and infectious. She makes mistakes and laughs about it. This brings a touch of candor to the videos which I personally find disarming. There are no “backup athletes” or perky girls that never stop smiling (you know you secretly want to bitchslap them) and no token buff dude in the background who also never stops smiling (probably because his vantage point has him perpetually staring at the perky girls’ toned butts). Just Nichole, as your trainer, demonstrating the three different levels of exercises. I love that there’s levels. It gives a “level one” like myself a place to start and things to aspire to. I feel worn out, sore, tingly, and¬†exhilarated¬†all at the same time after a workout. I. Love. It. I never thought I’d say that I love exercising, but I do! I love the rush and the sense of accomplishment. If you had told me a few months ago that I’d be saying these things…well I might’ve laughed in your face. Sorry.


Still working on how to use the little fat-pinchers. ūüėČ

This week I went down another 1.5 pounds, bringing my total to 5.5 pounds. I’m afraid I wasn’t able to get my measurements, but I’ll be sure to get them in a few days after I’ve lost my burger-bloat. But what’s the most impressive is how different my clothes are starting to feel. Even Jason noticed that my jeans are hanging more¬†loosely. Shirts that I haven’t worn since early days of pregnancy don’t make me¬†embarrassed¬†to walk into public anymore. It’s one of the best feelings in the world. Week one has been good to me. I honestly can’t wait to see what the future weeks hold by way of results.

BTW, if you’d like to follow me down the fitness rabbit hole, get information, or even request a free trial, check out the¬†Revolt Fitness Website.


***Disclaimer: I was given my Revolt Now Fitness membership as a blogger to review for zero dinero. However, all of the words, posts, opinions and anything else that comes out of my cracked belfry are mine and mine alone.***