Clare's Chaotic Cacophony

This is my little piece of cyberspace where I chronicle events in my life. Where I can vent, or dream, or wax poetic… Grab a heavily alcoholic beverage and join me, if you will.

Archive for October, 2013

Comments are *FUN*

I had originally planned to turn this blog into a business of sorts. I envisioned hosting giveaways, doing product reviews, the whole nine yards. However, I really began to burn myself out on all the social media. Blogging, tweeting, pinning, facebooking, instagraming, emailing, and practically spamming everyone I knew consumed me. I was trying so hard to drum up exposure and get page views, comments, followers, etc, however I never seemed to get anywhere. I did manage to get some comments from fellow bloggers and I loved them for it, but as far as reaching the masses…it never happened. Perhaps someday I’ll revisit that idea but for now, I’ll just stick to my bohemian blog-however-the-wind-moves-me-to ramblings.

Somehow along the way, I did manage to find some exposure, though. I was found by Spambots! They apparently love me! They leave multiple comments on each of my posts, in fact. I’m not sure what cheap nikes and football jerseys have to do with my writings, but hey. However, some of them are downright hard to read. For example:

“Realizing areas needed for make contact with lesser amount of wall membrane modifications are vastly different within various ins and 24 / 7 inches width by toaster ovens any oblong plan considering oven microwave combination easier action best toaster oven in addition to array and in addition reduced in office interference. That this hulls isn’t going to pack in, however they’re finished for instance like upside down transparent.”

Say what now? This was posted in reference to my first week review of the Revolt program. Well…I did write about cooking, but definitely not toaster ovens and wall membranes.

My post about working out while pregnant gathered the most spambots. Some of these were the most mystifying of all. For example:


Hmm. A bot of few words. Or how about:

“The antonio brown, under the leadership of Pope Gregory XIII that a special
list/calendar/book of antonio brown for the St. If it was a disaster.”

Okay that has nothing to do with gyms, pregnancy, or even nikes for crying out loud. Pope Gregory XIII?? And what did he do that was a disaster? And how does that relate to my blog? Mindblowing.

I get international comments too, but they’re mainly in Russian. I don’t understand Russian, so I won’t post them here just in case they’re porny or anything. This however, might as well be Russian for all the sense it makes:

“Keep eating valuable time helpful toaster ovens and also toaster over tray best toaster oven gaining variants – indulgence recipes for which you very often implementation, with regard to selecting variety of gouda, fruits or vegetables. How’s it going desiring to hyperlink their Nintendo wii console around the?”

Toaster ovens again? Who the hell is this obsessed with toaster ovens? And that last sentence drives me nuts. Hyperlink their Nintendo wii console around the… Around the what? I have a Wii…what could I hyperlink it around? The suspense is killing me.

I even got a comment from a site offering me a free tranny sex movie.


Then there were bots offering to show me where I ranked on Google, or how to get 10,000 hits a day to my site. These were usually a bit more coherent. Some made sense in the way of not sounding like gobbldeguk, but yet didn’t make sense. Like this one:

“In this way you may be faced with the challenge of keeping my living
quarters tranquil, open, and airy-seeming.” 

Umm what? I’m sorry, I can hardly keep my own house clean. I’m certainly not going to do it for any ole spambot who messages me on my blog. For the love of toaster ovens! I am not that kind of girl, thank you!


Here’s to New Beginnings…

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve neglected then “rechristened” my blog and started fresh…well I wouldn’t be a rich woman but I would have more cash than I do at present. I’m not sure why this is. It’s chronic though. I was a miserable journal/diary keeper growing up as well. Maybe it’s in my genetic code. Is there a “crummy journal/diary/blog keeper” gene? If not, I’m naming it after myself and that will be my contribution to science. Anyhoo, I’m coming back to my poor neglected blog after months of abandon, once again looking to start anew.

So what has changed in Clare’s Chaotic little portion of the world? Well…a lot. Summer came and went, much to my kids’ chagrin. Or all of my kids but one. Little Erik started Kindergarten this year and could not have been more excited. He’s kept that precious enthusiasm through all seven weeks he’s completed. In fact, he even tries to work ahead in his workbooks. Perhaps I finally have an enthusiastic scholar on my hands. Or the workload could increase next year and he gets tired of it after all. I’d prefer to look at the glass as half full though. This school year has brought other good things as well. Activities with the local homeschool group started up again, for example. The kids get to run some energy off, make tons of friends, and I get some conversation out of the deal too. 😉 Our new church has a moms group that meets for park dates and activities as well. These meetings bring extra special joy to my heart. There are some truly stellar women at my parish. I always feel like I can learn from them, whether it be faith, mothering, or just chit-chat.

Outside of school, we’ve seen Sean rise to High Green belt status at his studio and Aidan finish his Summer basketball season. We’ve also had several birthdays including my biggest boy turning TEN and my baby Jedi turning one year old. I know I ask this a lot but …where has the time gone? Seriously? How do I have a ten year old child? And my baby buddy is weaned, babbling, running everywhere and following his big brothers around. (He’s still my little snugglebug though.)

No update would be complete without mention of my fitness/weight loss quests. After all, this has always been somewhat of a central point in my blogs. I went a little over two months with the Revolt program and had to change. Did it work? Yes. Could I stick with it long term? No. There were some major perks to the program and some drawbacks as well. Some of the drawbacks were more my fault than Revolt’s but it is what it is. In the end, trying to workout at home became a chore. Plus graceless klutz that I am, I kept injuring myself. I threw out my knee a few times and finally pulled something in my foot that made walking very painful. That last one effectively put the kibosh on the workouts. It took a very long time to heal. The food was excellent, it really was. However, eating the exact same thing every day grew tiresome. Plus Saturdays around here are busy, so doing major shopping and then preparing a week’s worth of food the same afternoon lost it’s luster pretty quick. Now there are women who do make it work and their results are amazing. It just wasn’t a good fit here. I did, however, come away with a lot of wonderful fitness knowledge. Revolt introduced me to the concept of eating clean. It opened my mind to new ingredients and portion sizes and the beauty of drinking more than half my body weight in water every day. It showed me that I love working with weights and that exercising can be exhilarating. I am thankful to Revolt and Nichole for that, I really am.

So where does this leave me? Well I picked back up with Weight Watchers while my foot healed and lost a few pounds. I backslid again into the land of donuts and burgers and gained a few pounds back. Then my beautiful baby sister got engaged and asked me to be her matron of honor. Amidst all the excitement I knew I had to get back on the horse. I would not buy a bridesmaid dress in a plus or “extra-large” size. So I started watching what I was eating more closely. Then I found out that the company Christmas party is going to be black tie. Holy schnikes. I’m going to need a beautiful formal gown and my ass is still a mile wide. I started eating clean and stopped picking at things I made for the kids cold turkey. Then I did the best thing yet. I joined a gym again. I even bit the bullet and bought some personal training sessions. I figured I need some in-your-face personalized help. Obviously I don’t do spectacularly on my own. My trainer promised me that this will work and I will see results. She set me up with a meal plan and showed me how to supplement at the gym between our sessions. She kept me moving. At the gym, the baby never climbs on me, the kids never interrupt me, and I can blast my music as loud as I want without having to worry about hearing something (or someone) break. If I have any questions, there’s always someone to help. And…I lost 1.5 pounds in three days. Bring it.

So here’s to new beginnings. Here’s to rocking formal gowns or even jeans with confidence. Here’s to the fledgling school year. Here’s to starting fresh in my blog…yet again. May they all be successful.