Clare's Chaotic Cacophony

This is my little piece of cyberspace where I chronicle events in my life. Where I can vent, or dream, or wax poetic… Grab a heavily alcoholic beverage and join me, if you will.

Comments are *FUN*

I had originally planned to turn this blog into a business of sorts. I envisioned hosting giveaways, doing product reviews, the whole nine yards. However, I really began to burn myself out on all the social media. Blogging, tweeting, pinning, facebooking, instagraming, emailing, and practically spamming everyone I knew consumed me. I was trying so hard to drum up exposure and get page views, comments, followers, etc, however I never seemed to get anywhere. I did manage to get some comments from fellow bloggers and I loved them for it, but as far as reaching the masses…it never happened. Perhaps someday I’ll revisit that idea but for now, I’ll just stick to my bohemian blog-however-the-wind-moves-me-to ramblings.

Somehow along the way, I did manage to find some exposure, though. I was found by Spambots! They apparently love me! They leave multiple comments on each of my posts, in fact. I’m not sure what cheap nikes and football jerseys have to do with my writings, but hey. However, some of them are downright hard to read. For example:

“Realizing areas needed for make contact with lesser amount of wall membrane modifications are vastly different within various ins and 24 / 7 inches width by toaster ovens any oblong plan considering oven microwave combination easier action best toaster oven in addition to array and in addition reduced in office interference. That this hulls isn’t going to pack in, however they’re finished for instance like upside down transparent.”

Say what now? This was posted in reference to my first week review of the Revolt program. Well…I did write about cooking, but definitely not toaster ovens and wall membranes.

My post about working out while pregnant gathered the most spambots. Some of these were the most mystifying of all. For example:


Hmm. A bot of few words. Or how about:

“The antonio brown, under the leadership of Pope Gregory XIII that a special
list/calendar/book of antonio brown for the St. If it was a disaster.”

Okay that has nothing to do with gyms, pregnancy, or even nikes for crying out loud. Pope Gregory XIII?? And what did he do that was a disaster? And how does that relate to my blog? Mindblowing.

I get international comments too, but they’re mainly in Russian. I don’t understand Russian, so I won’t post them here just in case they’re porny or anything. This however, might as well be Russian for all the sense it makes:

“Keep eating valuable time helpful toaster ovens and also toaster over tray best toaster oven gaining variants – indulgence recipes for which you very often implementation, with regard to selecting variety of gouda, fruits or vegetables. How’s it going desiring to hyperlink their Nintendo wii console around the?”

Toaster ovens again? Who the hell is this obsessed with toaster ovens? And that last sentence drives me nuts. Hyperlink their Nintendo wii console around the… Around the what? I have a Wii…what could I hyperlink it around? The suspense is killing me.

I even got a comment from a site offering me a free tranny sex movie.


Then there were bots offering to show me where I ranked on Google, or how to get 10,000 hits a day to my site. These were usually a bit more coherent. Some made sense in the way of not sounding like gobbldeguk, but yet didn’t make sense. Like this one:

“In this way you may be faced with the challenge of keeping my living
quarters tranquil, open, and airy-seeming.” 

Umm what? I’m sorry, I can hardly keep my own house clean. I’m certainly not going to do it for any ole spambot who messages me on my blog. For the love of toaster ovens! I am not that kind of girl, thank you!



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